In moments of great change, we’re often confronted with the opportunity to have hard conversations with those we love.
Whether it’s managing an estate, creating connection within a divided family, or explaining new, important concepts to little ones, we, at Diamocycle, take pride in offering our clients and customers the tools and frameworks for creating a life of connection, security, and joy. With that in mind, we’re proud to offer you A Diamocycle Framework for Having Hard Conversations.
While we encourage you to use this framework for a variety of exciting and paradigm-shifting moments, we’re proud to base our framework on our own expertise, to keep our service to you, as always, personal and non-partisan.
A Diamocycle Framework for Having Hard Conversations
The Culet | Know the Point: At the bottom of every diamond and every conversation, is a point, often known as the culet. Before embarking on any conversation – you must know the point of that conversation. What are your goals? What are your motivations? Much like you would know the dimensions of your stone before bringing it to a jeweler, know the ambitions of your conversation before bringing it to the table.
The Pavilion | Set a Foundation: From the culet come the sides of the diamond, known as the pavilion. The pavilion is the hidden foundation of any diamond – what gives it its depth and delight. Similarly, you must set a foundation for your conversation. What research and facts do you want to gather? What are the ground rules that you want to establish? How can you prepare yourself to be both clear and generous in having a conversation? The pavilion of a diamond establishes both its limits and its depth – how can you both set clear boundaries and create space for a faceted, dimensional conversation?
The Girdle | Make an Invitation: The girdle is the moment of encounter between the diamond’s hidden interior (your preparation) and its shiny exterior (the conversation). Likewise, this is the moment where you contact your conversational friend and invite them to a conversation. We encourage you to share your motivation (the culet) and some of the guidelines (the pavilion) of the conversation you’d like to have. Much like each diamond has a different girdle thickness, every invitation might have a different flavor and style. Let there be space for your conversational partner to offer input and their own suggestions on how to make the conversation be truly an equal exchange of ideas. Before having the conversation, make sure that you and your conversation partner are aligned to the same overall point (the culet) of having the conversation.
The Crown | Stay Royal, Embrace the Facets, and Climb Together: The crown is the part of the diamond that contains facets and a stair length to the table. Likewise, this will be the part of your conversation that may be jagged and contain many moments of discussion and disagreement. When you’re in this part of the conversation, we encourage you to channel a royal demeanor (think of the crown!) and listen. Let your conversational partner share, open up, and articulate their point of view. Likewise, much like a diamond, we encourage you to offer facets or vulnerabilities of yourself, which will allow your conversational partner to connect with you while you dive into the depths of the conversation. Lastly, channel the stair-like element of a diamond, and always think of this conversation as a well-directed ascent from culet (the point) to table (the agreement). Keep your cool, respect your boundaries, and let your aligned vision bring you to a smooth conversational ending.
The Table | Arrive to an Agreement and Action: After you’ve dived in and shared vulnerabilities, disagreements, and differences of opinion – while keeping the culet (the point) in mind, we are confident you’ll reach the table, or the smooth resolution of the diamond. As if you’re finishing a meal, we encourage you to admire the hard work and success of your conversation, and articulate what action item might be sparkling forth. Much as we end our meals, eager with a next adventure ahead, we encourage you to finish your conversations both with the satisfaction of a job well done, and a clear vision of what’s next in store.
Conversations, like diamonds themselves, can often seem intimidating and impenetrable. That said, much like one becomes familiar with a favorite jewel, we have faith that you’ll be able and successful in having difficult conversations with your loved ones.
As always, we can’t wait to hear of your successes and as always, remain, your family jeweller.